There has been a question on my mind lately.....
Why do people feel the need to tell pregnant women how big they look?!
From what I have heard from other pregnant friends, I know I am not alone in being blown away by the comments people make -------- either from personal relationships or from complete strangers.
Wherever I go, I have very similar conversations with people, such as:
"Wow! Congrats on your baby!.... ---- *Alright, so far so good----nice comment.*.....
......how much longer do you have until you are due?"
*I then reply with oh ___ more months to go!*
Now, here comes the part that blows me away. 99.9% of the time their reply ranges from:
"Gasp!* "What?! I can't believe you have that much longer!! Oh I feel so bad for you....Yikes, you already look so big...I can't believe how it will be possible to get any bigger than you are .....Woah, you just keep getting bigger and bigger.....Man, it looks like you could pop any day now....Oh, you must be having twins......Are you SURE you aren't having twins??.....Alright, then you must be having a boy because of how big you are.....Well, sorry, not everyone can look as good as____ when they are pregnant......Oh you don't want this dessert? Is it because you are trying to watch your figure because of how big you are?"
Alright, so when I first started getting these comments at *ahem* 5 months and then doubling at 7 months, I used to get so mad. I would just try to laugh it off, and then later go complain to my husband with how *rude* people are. ;)
One night, Jared kindly responded, "Well, maybe people making those comments don't see it as being offensive, but more as a way of making conversation."
This gave me a shift of mindset.
Well, maybe people making these repetitive comments aren't TRYING to be rude intentionally...but "Why do people feel the need to tell pregnant women how large they look?"
Obviously, the woman who is pregnant is fully 100% aware how large she is getting....how much weight she has gained....how many stretch marks she has....how her body is not just changing so much physically, but also mentally and emotionally.
So, by people telling her over and over and over again, how BIG she is....really doesn't do any good. I've read and believe that 80%, if not more, of woman struggle with gaining weight and getting "bigger;" myself and a lot of my friends included.
I don't imagine this one blog post will actually cause people to stop making offensive comments to myself or any other pregnant lady.
However, for those who do come across this blog post who might be tempted to say similar comments......
I highly doubt any pregnant woman will take your comment as a compliment or appreciate any negative comments regarding the size of her body.
This goes the other way around too------- if a pregnant woman is really small and doesn't gain "that much" weight, why do people feel the need to constantly point that out as well.
Comments such as, "You should gain more weight.....oh, she is probably not eating enough because she is scared she won't loose the weight afterwards....I wonder if her baby is healthy because she looks so tiny," are just as damaging.
SO, the next time you are tempted to make a comment about a pregnant woman's body.....
Everyone has different bodies....
Women carry babies differently....and
Pregnancy is most likely going to look different for every woman with every pregnancy.
And for all my pregnant friends who have also felt upset like I have....
you are not alone with feeling the way you do.
It has taken time for me to learn not to take offense with every comment with how *big* I am.
I have realized people will continue making comments which may be offensive, but it is your choice to take offense.
Mothers and soon to be mothers already have a lot of pressure on them. Women don't need additional opinionated comments about their size or even other future parenting preferences regarding their child.
So now, when I hear those comments, I try to think to myself:
"1st: note to self.....never make comments like that because I know
how offensive they can be....and
*2nd: to further understand before the baby even arrives that YOU are going to be the
best mother for your individual child......
There is a reason this child is coming into YOUR family and it is your decision to decide what is best for your
in your current situation, and
in your specific family.
So, let's try not to let these comments upset us too much.
What are your thoughts? What helps you not be annoyed with others' blunt comments?
Feel free to share in the comments below!